oh my goodness i don’t know if i can do this right now! but i’ve trying all day so i’m gonna give it a shot! i am so incredibly distractable today.
okay, my princess is (probably) not really trying to kill me. I will, however, point out three points that cause suspicion.
1) she’s adorable and bought a watermelon. (yeah, that’s right, everything this bitch does is adorable! so shut up) anyway, she also got limes. I. Hate. Limes. apparently she is not aware of this. IT’S LIKE SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME! so she cut up the whole thing into adorable little sticks (i can’t think of the real name for the shape. rectangle?) and she put it into tupperware with wedges of lime. saddest day ever. i ate a few pieces, but ugh. it was horrible. it was all tainted by lime.
TMI TWO) i jokingly flashed her the other day while she was preparing a grocery list. she looks up with the store flyer in her hands and those big pretty eyes all wide with excitement, “But, baby, look! berries are on sale!!”
c) Hazelnut Coffee Creamer. Do i have to say more!? I’m not so sure it was an accident, but it might as well have been LIME! I don’t think she should be in charge of shopping any more!
All day I’ve been all over the fucking map, my mind is just racing!! And i would love to go make a pot of coffee and be able to focus on anything for more than a few minutes, but again, hazelnut coffee creamer. Unlike a regular person (or a “normy” as we say in the shiny object club) (we don’t really say that) (there is no club) (what) Oh yeah, caffeine is obviously a stimulant, but for cool people like myself, it does the opposite, helps to slow down and focus.
So today i’ve been aaaallll over the internet, playing the drums (i’ve been playing for about 4 days and i’m totally a rock goddess), stacking up books i can’t bring myself to read, yelling at the cat, shuffleing cards. oh do i love to shuffle cards. it’s repetative and soothing and keeps my hands busy so i can also use my brain.
i did some laundry. it took me almost an hour to order jimmy john’s. i was so hungry but i couldn’t cook and i was too distracted to order. lucky it was freaky fast i could have died! actually, i honestly had forgotten about the order by the time they got here lol! oh my god, i can’t do this i need to go make coffee (with haaaaazelnut). i would walk to the gas station for a soda, but all of my bras are on the drying rack so i’m trapped lol
um, usually i’m on phone so it’s more annoying, but today i was on my tablet so i got to peruse lesbian ttc on wordpress for a long time. it was fun to stalk people. we get up at 7 but today i was rudely awakened by nicki minaj and her bass, which i hear is supa. i haven’t a clue why it was her alarm today but it certainly didn’t wake her up! just me! and then i couldn’t sleep in any longer, i wanted to snuggle with her forever so i couldn’t get up for the day! i stayed til 830 when she woke up…all on her own….without my help. i must have been up a million times though, pee, feed the cats, make coffee, but she stayed sleeping with the adorable sleepy squishy face!! side note, her face itself is not squishy, i just like to squish it!! so i looked at postsecret and wordpress archives. good times. i judge people by their themes.
one of my neighbors is grilling. it smells amazing!! also my adorable squishy bear asked me how to cook ham. she’s been a vegetarian forever, she never had to cook meat. and apparently doesn’t know how to use this whole internet contraption. but at work she has to, so i told her how to cook it 🙂 i didn’t even have to look it up! i also don’t eat meat, but i do like to cook. i don’t know how to make stuff out of boxes, like hamburger helper, it’s too hard to follow the instructions, but i like to make stuff from scratch and i totally get off on people saying “oh, that’s so good and you can’t even taste it?!”
aww, now i’m hungry again. but i have some horrible hazelnut coffee to hold me over….;-P
wednesday at 9am is my appointment. that reminds me, not that i don’t trust my loves opinion, but i meant to look up reviews on this doctor. lol i googled her and it came up with “Trevor” hmmm, that’s an odd name for a bitch. wrong clinic, she’s a “Michelle”. well, she has great ratings and is apparently a delight. i honestly don’t care at the moment. i’m too freaking out. my love is coming with to do all of the talking and question asking. hopefully it will go okay and i won’t be too anxious going forward and we’ll all have a good relationship that results in piles of hippie babies.
also i don’t want to give birth at a hospital. not that that’s anywhere on the radar right now, just a thought. if i have to, i have to, i’d just rather not.
i also don’t even want to go. i don’t want to hear what this Michelle has to say. i’ve just now decided i hate her. she doesn’t want me to have babies. bitch. she’s gonna tell me it’s never going to happen. i’m not crazy at all.
also in the last six month i’ve lost 20 pounds. my not-squishy bear has lost 40. omg she’s so amazing. one of my biggest fears is that the dr will tell me i need to lose more weight to be an appropriate host. if i could, i fucking would. we’ve both been using Lose-It for calorie counting. my bear is also about 9 feet taller than me and we’re built entirely differently, but i still hate her face for losing so much more than me. also it is an extremely unhealthy road for me to go down. the more she mentions the stupid app or amount of calories in EVERYTHING the more it causes me to obsess well beyond what i should.
okay, that’s just stressing me out. now i can’t focus again. my mom and i decided have my love is a gang-member. i don’t remember why, some sort of auto-correct situation. now i’m watching Big Bang Theory “hold on, i believe ‘screw it i’m going in’ is what i said to your mother last night” hahahaha
oh yeah, i was going to try and find Lord of the Flies online. i just read it, it was delightful. my love tells me that’s a middle school book?! at my high school in freshmen/sophomore year they read it in english b. i was in english a. because i’m a secret genius. or at least that’s what i tell people. anyway, i was so excited about one day sharing books i’ve read and loved with my kids 🙂
also, woah, this coffee is kicking in
Also I made my love the blue cup for Christmas and the other one is my favorite cup, not necessarily to look at but to use