a journey to familyhood

Posts tagged ‘omg I’m losing my mind over this’

Wednesday. Or, I’m losing my mind

I seriously canNOT do this. I’m losing my mind I’m nit in control of my emotions I’m stress eating everything that is in this house.
Today is our day off together so that’s a yay. We’re having a Grey’s marathon bc we’re sooo behind. Did some house cleaning. Now my house smells AMAZING bc my pretty princess is making oatmeal raisin cookies. Bc she’s amazing.
And in the mean time…I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!!!
I think she told me she’s 10 DPO. So even though I know better and have been resisting, I’ve been online looking at everything I can find.
(Short break bc Grey’s Anatomy is making her cry)
That right there.
-Crying
-Sore boobs
-Headaches
-Backaches
-Cramping
-Really freaking crazy sometimes
-Smelling things that I can’t smell
-Dreaming when she wasn’t before
-I can’t remember any more
Seriously everything that she has done or said today I’ve been like HMMMMMMMMMMM! Isn’t that curious!
And it’s bullshit bc everything is either am early pregnancy sign or a pms sign and we’re not going to know until we know and it’s never going to come soon enough and its going to be horrible.
I can’t wait. I seriously can’t. But I will but this is horrible bc I’m going to spend the next two days trying to make her pregnant with my thoughts and I can’t breathe and how do people do this?!
How are we going to do this Every Month. Every time I look at her I KNOW that she it’s pregnant and that I’m going to be happy forever and we’re going to be happy forever.
And then I look at her and I know she’s not pregnant and I’m heartbroken.
I don’t know what to do or think or say or do or think or Anything!
Loooooooosing my MIND!!