a journey to familyhood

Posts tagged ‘lgbt’

One Week Wait

We decide to test next Friday… I work until 8pm so I guess it will be after that. Unless she tests while I’m working to surprise me. But only if it’s positive! I wouldn’t want her to get a negative test and be all by herself.

Today we took a road trip and I was fitted for a bridesmaid dress for my bffs wedding. It was a fun day and fun to visit and to get away. But I’d really rather be at home. I like my house, I like my family, my cats, I like being at home with my love.

Whether we get a positive this time or not I’m still going to be happy. I’ve still got the most beautiful girl in the entire world and I love love love her forever. And it’s probably best that we’re not home bc it’s a distraction from everything.

I want to go get a test right now and I want it to be positive and I never want to be feeling so overwhelmed again! I want to cry because I’m so excited. I want to cry because I’m afraid it won’t work. I want to know why I didn’t ovulate so when it comes to my turn I’ll be ready.

One Week.

Monday Monday

Well it was one heck of a weekend! In the very best of ways. Two rounds of sperm in, cleaning, good food, yard work, “house” marathon…I don’t even know what else, but it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time.

And now we’re in the two week wait. The limbo of “oh my God I’ve never been so excited in my life” and “don’t get too excited, you know the odds”.

And i do know them, I’ve just always been afraid my negativity will sabotage everything. Like it might have happened, but I was too busy thinking it wouldn’t that it was stopped in it’s tracks. Or if I want something badly enough it won’t happen.

I want this badly. Myself, my love, and Marlon Jr!!