(Until someone tells us we’re not)
Still pregnant, day 2!!
Confession : I never thought we would get pregnant. i am in complete shock and disbelief and will probably stay that way, like, forever.
So. She was planning on testing today (Weds). Then on Monday night she texted me “What if my pain is an ectopic pregnancy” and she was legit scared. i had no idea what pain she was talking about bc she’s very good at assuming i can read her mind or forgetting to tell me things.
Apparently it felt like her muscles were being pulled off of her pelvis, on the right side. So i didn’t know what to make of that, but i asked if she wanted to test early if she was that concered. she said “maybe tomorrow”
And then it was tomorrow (Tuesday/ yesterday) and i was half asleep and hadn’t thought about it and heard her brushing her teeth and then she was coming back to the bedroom and holding the test and trying not to cry and said “Baby, I think I’m pregnant”
Two things i will never forget: her face when she realized i was proposing to her, her face when she said those words.
Part of me is AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH excited and part of me ia dead inside and feels nothing and all of me only got 4 hours of sleep last night bc i was laying there in panic over all of the horrible things that can happen during pregnancy.
Doing the 2nd test definitely helped, the 1st wasn’t just a fluke. And in 2 hours we go for a blood test.
And in 6 hours we’re going to look at a house. omg adulting
It has clearly been a while since I’ve posted anything here. There was a period of …. turmoil in the family creating and i was too cranky and bitter to want to be any part of it. Looking back I don’t even know what my damage was, or our damage rather, but i was so so angry and i was never ever ever going to “blog” ever again. because i’m crazy lol. But now we’re back in action. And even if we weren’t i would try to be less of a douche about things.
Today, April 9th, a giant cannister of sperm was delivered to my house. I spent the morning sitting in front of the open window jumping like a startled puppy every time I heard a car go by until finally the UPS man pulled up. I ran for the door, no shoes, and then the jerk went to the NEIGHBORS!! I was about to burst into tears when i heard him tell Rich “Nope, this one is going next door” and then i almost burst into happy tears. Yeah, emotional day, it’s embarrassing!
So now my love and I have a cannister full of liquid nitrogen, “population paste” (lol) and an oral syringe. How romantic. Sperm is expensive! Actually it’s not the sperm that is the most expensive, the shipping is really a bitch! So in the big box were only two little vials of sperm. And i should ovulate in the next 2-3 days and hopefully…..baby time!!!
i 100% know that it’s naive to just smile and say woo hoo i’m gonna get pregnant the first try and the whole world will be wonderful. all you have to do is type “baby” into “The Google” and there’s post after post of “OMG we’ve been trying for 43 years to have a baby and it’s driven us into bankruptcy and the gods hate me” and then you want to cry yourself to sleep and get another cat. so i’ll just hope the planets line up and our timing is right and i’ll cross my fingers and toes and hope it takes as few tries as possible.
my girl was so excited today, i can’t wait for the day when i can tell her i’m pregnant. she has the most beautiful smile in the whole world. hopefully my experience doesn’t suck so she can go next. and hopefully the sperm we have now will still be available. donor guy as a child was Adorable, crazy curly hair and big ears, all of our children will be the cutest things ever in the whole world.
It’s good to be back, it’s even better to have a can of sperm in the other room, it will be amazing when we can put it to use. I am so excited to go to bed bc tomorrow i can pee on more ovulation tests and wow that is not something i ever considered looking forward to!