a journey to familyhood

Posts tagged ‘fertility friend’

Aura and Ovulation

So today I went to work all chipper and pleasant and just a ball of delight. And then I said Oooh, shit. I can’t see.
Stupid migraine aura. It’s so annoying. If you stand up real quick and the blood rushes from your head and it’s all fuzzy, it’s kind of like that. Or it’s …wavy? Like being really drunk. Or when you stare into the sun or a bright light and then see spots. Kind of like all of those things all at once. Usually it happens before I get a migraine. So I took a handful of pain killers and down a half gallon of water and called my love to bring me a soda with caffeine. She was not pleased bc she was worried about me.
Eventually I could see again but then it started to really hurt and I was so nauseated. So I came home early and took a muscle relaxer so I can function. I was a little worried at first bc all I could think about was Meredith from Grey’s with her eyesight messed up from fertility meds.
Anyway. Fertility Friend is trying to give me a bigger migraine! Or maybe it’s my body. I’ve been studying my chart for this month as well as previous months until my eyes cross, willing some sense to come out of them. The last time I got crosshairs was April! Ugh. I thought with Clomid it would be like bam here you go. But I wonder if I started testing too late. I took Clomid cd3-7. On day 10 I had the closest to positive of an opk that I’ve had. My temp also went up after that. Every day since then I’ve had nothing but clearly negative opks.
So I wonder if I had tested on cd 8 & 9 would I have gotten a positive? Also that seems really early! Today is cd 16 and it’s nothing but negatives. I get a blood draw on cd 20?21? I have two opks left but maybe I’ll go buy more, maybe I didn’t ovulate yet. It’s so frustrating. I want to move forward. This was going to be the trial run to go forward next cycle. But right now I almost feel worse about things! I feel like everything is a big question mark. I really want to do this, but I want to be smart about it. Maybe it’ll come together, maybe I did ovulate or still will or who knows. I just want some clarity.

Anxious

My appointment is in the morning. I’m so anxious. I’m also tired but idk how I’m going to sleep tonight.  I just want it to be over.
Also temping was ridiculous this am lol first I fell asleep with my thermometer in my mouth. Then I dreamt I had temped and I woke up frustrated that I couldn’t remember what it was. Then since I was still mostly asleep I couldn’t figure out how to work the thermometer! Eventually I got it but i was still all out of it I kept repeating my temp in my head all morning. 97.5 97.5 97.5 long after I put it in to fertility friend I would panic, what was it?! 97.5 or was that my dream temp?! Oh yeah it doesn’t matter anymore.
My princess is trying to convince me to play a family guy game on my phone. No. Just no.

You take the good, you take the bad

Well, I guess the bad isn’t like bad bad, more annoying. It looks like another month of bouncy ball temperatures! And really it’s my fault. For over a week I was sleeping well my temps were normal it was very inspiring! Then after I got my monthly it all went down hill again. I knew it was coming bc the day before I get it my temp drops. So it was normal until about the second day of my period.
Then I couldn’t sleep and woke up constantly so my temp was whack. Then I don’t remember why but I missed a day. Then last night I worked third shift so that caused me to miss two temps.
I haven’t slept yet, I’m not tired yet though. I hope that I can sleep well tonight at get up at my usual time and have a nice temp. That also reminds me to take a Vitex.
Also in the next two days I think I’m gonna start with opks. I have like 40 so I’m damn sure gonna figure this out!
The super yay part is a few things…first being that yesterday was the first farmers market of the season! We walked from home and it was such a beautiful day. We got coffee and some delicious hippie soap and eggs and plants for the garden and idk what else. It was so nice to get back there and I’m so looking forward to the rest of the summer.
Also I stared at every baby and adorable little family I saw! I tried not to be a major creeper lol but my lady insides were beeeeeegging me for a baby! Omg all I want to do is walk to the Farmer’s Market holding my love’s hand with a baby strapped to me!
My other so favorite part of yesterday was finishing planting the garden. Yay. My love did most of the work and she was so proud of her bamboo steaks and string. We have peppers, zucchini, green beans and yellow zucchini. Then on the balcony we have all the tomatoes! We eat a f_ck load of vegetables every day.And my mom and my very best friend ever are already requesting zucchini so I’m excited for gardening and cooking and sharing my garden. It’s not the biggest garden in the world, but it’s ours and it’s perfect!

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