a journey to familyhood

Posts tagged ‘2ww’

A:2ww and M:cd3

A: Tomorrow is the last day of my 2ww. I’ve been testing out: Negative. I thiiink I have two tests left. After emailing with the dr I will be switching from Clomid to Letrazole. But I can’t until I meet with her at the end of January. Progesterone (and pms) is making me bitchy. Either my girlfriend is insane and pissing me off, or I’m just perceiving it that way. I’m trying to be nice and hold it together, but sometimes you just gotta spend a whole day crying, you know?

M: My gf is on Cd 3. (This is the first time in life a year that I can remember our cycles being so close) As of today we’re going ahead with her this cycle. So next week we buy sperm (using the same donor we’ve used for me). I believe she usually ovulates around day 16. She’s always been super consistent, I hope it stays that way. Next week we also tour two schools for her to get her pharmacy degree.

(Written yesterday, no period yet and I forgot to test today)

One week down!

So far I have not really been that crazy!! Yaaaay!! As far as 2ww’s go, between both my love and myself this has been the easiest one.
(So far, I make no promises I won’t snap lol)
I’m…pretty chill.
Except for twenty minutes ago when I was Googling if bloody nose was an early sign! Apparently it actually is. Who knew.
You know what’s not sexy? Bloody nose cleavage! (Yes, I sure did snapchat that to my girlfriend before I cleaned it up!!)
Let’s see…what imaginary pregnancy symptoms can I think of? Nothing really. Migraine. Nothing new. Boobs feel normal. Some things smell weird. I  exhausted, but no matter how much Benadryl I take I just can’t sleep.
Every once in a while I say something and I catch my love looking at me like she’s about to Google whatever I said. Lol, she says she’s good though, too.
Halfway through, I’m pretty proud of both of us for being so reasonable.
We’ve also been busy with hiking and family game nights and various birthday celebrations, so that definitely helps.
I’m not sure what the difference is. I know if/when I get my period I’ll be heartbroken, probably even more so than I think. But then hey, we try again. I know it’ll be hard, but I’m glad I’m not freaking myself out now.
It’s actually my birthday today. Ew. 29. I feel sooooo old. And also very young, it feels like I couldn’t possibly be so old. And my 25 year old girlfriend is going to trade me in for a younger model. It’s okay, we had a good run. 🙂
Thursday we’re going kayaking! I’m super excited. Tonight she’s making me a super secret special birthday dinner. (My guess is the vegetation lasagna I spent hours texting her about yesterday bc it just sounded soooo good, or if she’s feeling lazy, a pretzel crust pizza!!! Either way I’ll be happy!)
(Also I’m all paranoid now and I keep expecting to look down and see blood running down my chest)
One more week!!
Good waiting to my cycle buddies 🙂

Insem 2/Stork OTC

We did our second insem this am. We used the Stork this time instead of the other night.
I am in no way affiliated with the Stork otc my thoughts on it are my own and not meant as medical advice
Using the Stork was relatively easy. There are two parts, the collection cup (which has a condom thing we obviously didn’t use) and the wand. There are like three buttons you push/pull, it was a little overwhelming as to omg what if I hit the wrong button at the wrong time! But my girlfriend has no such worries about it, and of course she’s in charge of all “plunger pushing”. And they’re are plenty of how-to videos online as to how it works.
(My friend, who plans to use the stork as well, told me that watching the videos was like watching porn. Sweetie, you are watching the wrooooong porn!)
So, sperm goes in the little reservoir at the bottom of the cup. You rest it on the top of the wand, pull the bottom of the wand until it clicks shut trapping the sperm and cup inside the wand.
Insert wand and click two different buttons which opens the wand up setting the cup/sperm against your cervix and then releasing the cup so you can pull out the wand.
Easy enough. Now it’s just hanging out in there with a string, not unlike a tampon to be pulled out after no more than 6 hours.
I guess it’s like a soft cup, which I have no experience with. It feels a little odd. Sometimes I can feel it, like a mal adjusted tampon. I’ve tried readjusting a little but I think it’s as good as it’s going to get and it really isn’t bothering me.
I honestly haven’t considered whether I’ll use this again. Next cycle we plan to do an in office iui if we need to so we have some time to figure it out.
I feel pretty good about everything (Also terrified). Happy 2 week wait!

Monday Monday

Well it was one heck of a weekend! In the very best of ways. Two rounds of sperm in, cleaning, good food, yard work, “house” marathon…I don’t even know what else, but it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time.

And now we’re in the two week wait. The limbo of “oh my God I’ve never been so excited in my life” and “don’t get too excited, you know the odds”.

And i do know them, I’ve just always been afraid my negativity will sabotage everything. Like it might have happened, but I was too busy thinking it wouldn’t that it was stopped in it’s tracks. Or if I want something badly enough it won’t happen.

I want this badly. Myself, my love, and Marlon Jr!!