a journey to familyhood

Happy Thanksgiving

Another week until our 2nd Known donor attempt.

I’m working on Thanksgiving. I said “dress the baby nice”. She’s wearing a glow in the dark robot T-shirt and looks like she lives under the bridge 🤦‍♀️

But I got to FaceTime with the whole family and as my wife went room to room babe chased her waving Hi mama.

Her little speech is so cute. My favorite part is that a lot of things she says are so high pitched. Except “mama”, her voice goes so deep it’s hilarious 😂

We took Xmas pics yesterday! (I work thanksgiving so it doesn’t even feel like a holiday to me (except last year I took off for the only time in ten years)) So really it’s just a speed bump in the way to Christmas.

Negative

CD1 today. It’s a bummer but it’s fine. We’ll try again in a few weeks!

Half way

Well, a little more than half way. My wife is supposed to get her period on Thursday. So she wants to test on Wednesday.

She tested on Thursday or Friday (negative of course) bc she said she woke up in a panic at like 2 am and needed to test and felt better after.

There’s nothing really indicating one way or another, or there’s plenty of things that can easily be misattributed and explained away.

She’s also sick, which makes everything more complicated.

Donor has a super high success rate. I’m not really worried that it will work at some point, but of course the sooner the better 😁

Whew!

So we did our first cycle with our new KD. Thankfully, as opposed to my post the other day, he was so much better and less douchy than I was expecting!

He was chill and nice and we talked for a while beforehand. We talked about our life and his life. Some things we’d discussed before but it was a good refresher.

He’d sent us the contract a long while ago but we touched on that again as well.

Then he handled his business and we took our Tupperware and syringe to the back seat of my car in a Target parking lot with our dog trying to jump back 🤣😂

Perfect.

So now we’re in the 2ww!!

Bruh

So, we’re going with a Known Donor.

It was a pain in the ass process to get to him. So many no call-no shows, weirdos, etc. but okay, we settled on this dude.

One of only two that were really options. And the other fella might be used by some friends, so we’d rather use the other one.

Anyway.

He is driving my fucking nuts!

He is a mansplainer!!

Well, I think he is. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he’s just knowledgeable and helpful.

But no, he’s mansplaining.

And while we’re in a group text with him, my wife and I are texting on the side about hating him lol.

His stats are impressive, let’s hope they pay off quickly so we don’t have to keep talking to him!

CD1

I’m excited for this cycle. There’s no special reason or anything, it just feels easy and I’m excited.

Well, right now I’m bored. I’m at work until midnight, ew.

Then I have to drive home.

But I’ll listen to Natalia Kills. Yass Queen.

On Tuesday we saw GARBAGE! And I died of happiness and excitement and my wife and realized that we’re Old AF! We get up at 6am and are usually in bed well before midnight. But the concerns went until midnight and then we had to drive home! She pulled over halfway and she’s a CONTROL FREAK! So to let me drive was huge.

But the concert was soooo good and we were riiiiight up front 😍 Shirley Manson. Fuck yes.

So now I have another late night and I’m not nearly having the fun I did Tuesday!

I should be doing something productive but even though I’m bored I also can’t focus, so I’ll just flip through apps on my phone and watch Chopped and stalk Amazon watching for new diaper releases. (I recently did my Top 10)

Maybe I’ll google “hobbies”

Exhale

For the past week or so, through sickness and puppy adoption and car trouble and anxiety and life in general I feel like I’ve been holding my breath and it was just waiting to kill me.

Today, I can exhale. And I can breathe normally again.

My car is fixed, on the way to drop it off my wife and I saw a rainbow and it seemed very fitting.

Last night she was at the end of her rope (for noooo reason) with Louie and said to “find him a new home”. She didn’t mean it so I just ignored her for a while and then encouraged her to vent. After her vent her attitude switched back to not-bitch mode and we had a great night and great day today.

I know the anxiety and depression is still lingering and if I thought about it u could bring it back up, but I’m not! I’m enjoying feeling good and knowing that for. Ow everything is okay!!

It feels good to feel good.

The only bummer is that we missed my wife’s ovulation. So we couldn’t try this month. She does opks twice a day and temps daily and is always spot on so it’s odd. But a lot was going on with her life and schedule being all out of whack. So hopefully next cycle is back to normal.

There’s a huge consignment sale twice a year that my mom and I go to, and it was today. The whole time she wa talking about “the new baby” and hopefully we know gender by the next sale so we can stock up and she’s super excited! I am too!