a journey to familyhood

Archive for August, 2018

Adorable baby bc she makes me not want to cry all day

You guys…my mother in law is dying. Probably soon. It’s so heartbreaking. My wife is going about her days, as if all was normal. Bc that’s what she needs to do. But eventually she’s gonna crack. The loss of my father was nothing compared to this loss. Idk how to help her through it.

Today we found out my mother in law has cancer.

Believed to be breast which spread to her liver and bones.

She mentioned last month that her hips/back were sore. She was going to her chiropractor and not feeling better so she finally went to a dr and has a compressed disc.

And cancer.

As far as I know they haven’t talked about treatment or prognosis, they’re still running CT’s and biopsy’s.

We’re going to MN to visit this weekend, so hopefully they’ll have more information by then.

My wife and her sisters just keep saying “how did this happen?” And it’s such an unfair question. She’s in amazing health, only eats from the farmers market and walks miles a day, swims at the Y. But cancer doesn’t care.

My aunt passed away from breast cancer. I took her to her treatments, it was an impossible thing to deal with.

I can’t imagine having to say “My mom has cancer” and now that’s my wife’s life. And of course Dr Google is a fucking dick with terrible looming statistics and realities which we shouldn’t be looking at until we hear from the doctors.

My wife is wrecked, but still has to work a double shift tomorrow and has a job interview. So I was strong while she sobbed with me earlier and now I’m crying in the bathroom while she’s asleep.

I don’t know how she’s going to handle things. Her go to is usually to shut down and/or lash out. I think the worst part is all of the unknowns.

Will there be a few years of treatment and time to process (as much as one can) or will it be much much sooner?

Fuck