a journey to familyhood

Archive for January, 2018

IUI #3

In the 2ww. Yesterday went smoothly. My wife and I both managed to take off of work so we got to spend an unexpected day together!

We both wore purple bc I decided it was my lucky color yesterday. And matching hoodies. We have a few matching clothes. Usually just to be a punk I’ll wait for my wife to get dressed and then I’ll go put on the same thing. It drives her crazy. But yesterday she was obsessed with luck and decided we would wear matching lucky hoodies.

Whatever works!

Then we got pho and I took a nap while she and the babe watched 👻busters.

I had some spotting, which I didn’t have the last times. And until about an hour ago,I had a bite mark on my hand from biting down on it instead of crying!

I don’t really want to take a break if this doesn’t work, we haven’t really talked about it. I know we should, but part of me wants to keep going.

I kept asking Rayne if she wanted brothers and she always waves her arms around and squeaks, so I think that’s a “yes”.

My boss, who I finally told about our ttc, is freaking out already bc he knows my goal is to be a stay at home mom. It’s okay, you gots some time! But it was seriously his 1st comment lol

For now though I’ll just try not to think about the tww and enjoy this *7 month old* (omg!)

3 Things

A) This. Baby! 😍. I never realized how much I would love her. She’s just amazing. Is there something magical about 6 months? It seems like instead of a lump of baby, she’s becoming an actual small person.

She does things with purpose, she concentrates, she makes her wants known, she doesn’t just lay there all scrawny and cute. She’s becoming her own individual. And it’s so incredible to watch!

She sleeps up to 14 hours a night (usually 12)(never less than 12). I know that we’ve hit the sleep jackpot with this kid.

She’s eating food. I make it and freeze it in ice cube trays. She usually gets 1-2 cubes at a time. I really love making food for her. My wife has been the sole food provider, she’s still the primary supplier, but now I get to contribute and it feels really good.

We’ve been feeding her off and on for a couple months, but on her schedule. She wasn’t really into it so we didn’t push it. Now she is, so we’re embracing it. Our pediatrician was really pushing for her to be eating a lot more. Even still he is. She’s small, but she’s okay. I wish he’d back off and we’re considering getting rid of him bc of it. Anyway,

I use cream of wheat as a base. And have so far added banana, applesauce, carrot, and peas. She also likes snap pea crisps.

2) Taking a break. If this IUI doesn’t work, we’re taking a break. Hopefully a short one/1 cycle, but we’ll see. If it’s longer, it’s longer. I know it’s only 3 cycles, but I need a break- mentally and physically. Also, we’ll need to save money and pay off other things. Part of me doesn’t want to stop, I just want to beast through it and get pregnant and be done! The more breaks we take obviously the slower to the goal. But I know we have to.

D) I was talking with a friend after the last negative test, just voicing concerns, discussing the money aspect and so forth. One thing we need to do is build a deck with a wheelchair ramp. My mom has said (as recently as today) to not stop ttc in her account. We can always build a deck, we won’t be always able to ttc.

So, as I’m talking to my friend, the very 1st thing she said was “build the deck”.

No, sorry you’re not pregnant. No, gee this must be stressful. No, aaanything. Except , don’t spend your money on baby making, give up and build the deck.

That sucked.


Baseline Ultrasound today, all looks well. Same protocol, starting 7.5 of letrozole tonight

IUI#2 Negative

That’s all

IUI #2 Progesterone

My progesterone was only a 9.63. I did ovulate, but obviously I need to keep up with the vaginal suppositories twice a day.

I’m bummed that it’s so low.

Progesterone does not leave me feeling well. It’s been 3.5 days and I’m already so over it.

I just want to cry and be depressed and fight with my wife.

Ooooh, I’m trying so hard.

1 more week until pregnancy test