a journey to familyhood

Archive for November, 2016

7 Weeks

​How far along? 7 weeks 

How big is the peanut? 

Total weight gain/loss? lost 2 pounds

Maternity clothes? no, but will need a bigger bra asap

Sleep? don’t get enough, hard to find a comfy position with painful boobs 

Best moment this week? today was a big day, we went to the social security office and the dmv and changed my last name. then tonight at thanksgiving/my mom’s bday we have her a present of grandma and baseball outfits. there were many tears. we told her not to tell anyone yet until we had some drs apts, but we couldn’t keep it from her any more

Symptoms? Queasy all day long, wants to vomit- but doesn’t huge painful boobs, super emotional, “burrowing”, dry mouth

Food cravings? dark chocolate, sweet, cold (ice cream)  anything to help the dry mouth, ginger ale, fresh oranges

Food aversions? hot cheese, everything all the time. she constantly tells me she’s hungry but anything i suggest she wants to vom. half the time i make it anyway and she’ll decide she was  starving and gobbles whatever it is up. she also can’t eat nearly as much as before

What I miss? Not wanting to throw up

What I’m looking forward to? Not feeling sick and our drs appointment


The last picture here is from an app called The Bump, and it moves!!!! The little heart actually beats!!!! And the little flippers actually flip! it’s surreal.

How far along? 6 weeks

How big is the peanut? .25 (ladybug/sweet pea)

Total weight gain/loss? No difference

Maternity clothes? no

Sleep? Okay, but still with crazy dreams

Best moment this week? Finding out baby is ladybug size, that’s so cool

Symptoms? ooohhh my, where to start. the emotions.  The crying. quite the rollercoaster. the boobs are big and firm and more often than not too painful to get near. the crying. the “burrowing”, dizzy spells, heartburn, but not too bad. the biggest new thing is the nausea. no throwing up, but lots of nausea showings sometimes there is a reason sometimes out of the blue. she drinks plenty but her eating needs work. as in, eating once in the am and then feeling sick amd dizzy and too nauseated to eat again in order to feel better. oy vey.
Food cravings? whatever I’m eating and she’s not. ants on a log,  fresh berries, ginger ale. usually she tells me she’s not hungry even if she should be eating she’s stubborn, but once i sit down with food she takes it and inhales it. I’ve been trying to make her high protein,  healthy, filling food to take to work. (Most recently a variation on Pinterest “Taco Junk”- with a lot more fresh veggies, corn peppers tomatoes)

Food aversions? hot cheese. as in pizza. as in, sadness. sometimes everything, for no reason other than nausea.

What I miss? caffeine 

What I’m looking forward to? Telling my mom next week (I’m nervous telling her (or anyone)  too early,  but i can’t keep it from her any more and it’s her birthday)


I need something,  anything, to be a ray of positivity on this dark day.

Although I am so uplifted by the love i see spreading as well. Love will win.

This is my love. This is where my focus is. This is my wife and my baby.  My baby that i will love and protect and teach. My baby will have loving parents, friends and family who love and support him, a bright BRIGHT BRIGHT future in front of him.

This is the baby blanket my best friend is making

We definitely call our baby Megatron.
How far along? 5 weeks

How big is the peanut? dot snail!  yesterday he was a waterbear!

Total weight gain/loss? No

Maternity clothes? No

Sleep? Working a ton of ot so not sleeping much, but she is having crazy dreams and the other day she was crying in  sleep. it was the saddest thing ever.  omg.

Best moment this week? When i reassured , for no other reason than i wanted to be supportive,  that she will never be in this alone

Symptoms? crazy sleep, boobs are tender and BIG!! (Niiiice!), horrible goddamn awful mood swings omg i love her but she’s a heinous bitch, heartburn, exhausted (but also not having the usual gallon of coffee)

Food cravings? Salt

Food aversions? no

What I miss? Beer

What I’m looking forward to? Fucking everything

Milestones? Um, being pregnant?! Setting up Drs Apts

Bump? Not yet,  but feels a little hard like maybe shevdid a ton of sit ups,  or maybe that’s the ab workouts she was doing pre pregnancy. 

Thank you!! (Also whaaaat?!)

Firstly, thank you everyone for your positive words! This has been a long and crazy and awful and amazing journal and now here we are!

Also, wtf is with weeks pregnant??

Are we 3 weeks or 5?

Of course i downloaded like 4 pregnancy apps and they all want it to be 5 weeks even though obviously for the first 2 were bn period and ovulating and obviously not pregnant.

If that’s how it’s calculated,  whatever,  but as far as size and milestones and accuracy,  which is it?


(Until someone tells us we’re not) 

Still pregnant, day 2!!

Confession : I never thought we would get pregnant. i am in complete shock and disbelief and will probably stay that way, like, forever.

So. She was planning on testing today (Weds). Then on Monday night she texted me “What if my pain is an ectopic pregnancy” and she was legit scared.  i had no idea what pain she was talking about bc she’s very good at assuming i can read her mind or forgetting to tell me things.

Apparently it felt like her muscles were being pulled off of her pelvis, on the right side. So i didn’t know what to make of that, but i asked if she wanted to test early if she was that concered. she said “maybe tomorrow”

And then it was tomorrow (Tuesday/  yesterday)  and i was half asleep and hadn’t thought about it and heard her brushing her teeth and then she was coming back to the bedroom and holding the test and trying not to cry and said “Baby, I think I’m pregnant”

Two things i will never forget: her face when she realized i was proposing to her, her face when she said those words.

Part of me is AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH excited and part of me ia dead inside and feels nothing and all of me only got 4 hours of sleep last night bc i was laying there in panic over all of the horrible things that can happen during pregnancy.

Doing the 2nd test definitely helped, the 1st wasn’t just a fluke. And in 2 hours we go for a blood test.

And in 6 hours we’re going to look at a house.  omg adulting


Holy jesustapdancingchrist, is this real life?!