a journey to familyhood

Archive for July, 2016

46 Days

After wonderfully consistent cycles of 32 days 32, 30, going back to December, I finally got my period after 46 days. Even with a doubled progesterone dosage for 10 days.

Eff.

Just when I think it’s figured out, it’s not. I feel like with my cycle being so off I shouldn’t try to get pregnant this month. That sucks.

I’m so torn between being so ready to try and wanting to have the best odds. So we’re waiting.

In the mean time, I’m sure i ‘ll be exercising my ass off with this restrictive son of a bitch

This is a broken foot. It blows. 3-5 more weeks of lugging this guy around with me. The biggest annoyance is I can’t drive with it on so I have to go through all the straps every time and take it on and off and drive barefoot. Okay, I guess that’s not a huge deal, but I never realized how often I get in and out of the car.

I just need to figure out a good one legged exercise routine and hopefully shorten my cycle back up so we’re ready to try soon.

Suckville (triggering)

A mutual friend, one of my fiancee’s best friends, was raped yesterday. My heart is just broken for her. She’s had enough of a trauma history for fucks sake.
I’m sick of how fucking horrible people are to each other.
I’m upset that my gf picked up double overtime and can’t be there for her friend.
I feel selfish that I’ve been freaking out and slept maybe 4 terrified hours last night. But I don’t want to mention it, especially to my gf bc her focus needs to be with her friend.
I feel lonely that I don’t have someone I can just sit with.
Bonus, he’ll be to the prison where my love works, he knows who she is/what she looks like/possibly where we live, he HATES my gf and is a gang member.
I wish that I knew what to say to the girl. We’ve always had an “understanding” with each other having been through the same things. But knowing what it’s like just makes you want to keep any one else from it that much more.
Being balls deep progesterone is not helping my emotional state.
I want a cigarette.
Fuck you society, do better.