a journey to familyhood

Archive for May, 2016

One last try (again)

We saw the doctor last week. She was pleased with my weight loss and was willing to give us one more letrozole rx before she sends me to a specialist for injections. I don’t want to go!
I just want it to work and be done with it. But obviously this isn’t working so I need something else. Unless this one last time suddenly works.
I don’t remember why, but I think we’re waiting for July to try. And right now I’m in the middle of Progesterone. Yuck.


My cousin was married yesterday. It was a beautiful little ceremony. I did a reading by Lao Tzu. I hate public speaking so that was horrible but I was told I did beautifully.
Another cousin was married last year, one is getting married in two months. We’re all in the same age range so now more and more of us are in seriously relationships and moving towards marriage.
Which brings me to my darling love. We’re definitely getting married. Like, without question.
The only question is…everything else!! I have never in my life dreamed of the standard wedding and the dress and ew. I can appreciate it for what it is, but that’s pretty much the same for any style of ceremony.
I plan to be married, but I’ve honestly never thought about the wedding part of it.
Well, little miss dead inside apparently LOVES weddings. But she also is a top notch flip flopper!
For ever she’s told me she just wants to go to the court house. Okay, fine by me. Except EVERY time we go to a wedding or hear about a wedding or out of the blue she says Welllllll, maybe a wedding wedding would be nice. And she goes back and forth no less than 114x/day.
Our anniversary is in October. What I do know, she wants to get married then. What I don’t know? Everything else.
Either we’ll go alone to the courthouse and just be done, or we’ll have the biggest ceremony you’ve seen in your life and every person we’ve met in our lives and their complete extended families are invited!
(Which we can’t afford bc every nickel we make goes back into baby making)
She gets annoyed with me I think bc we’re on different mind sets. I want to be married. I don’t know how I want to get married, and I don’t think I care as much as she does about the logistics. And she’s constantly back and forth. And anything she says is Of course dear, yes dear, anything you want. So I think maybe she’s not always sure I’m up for it, but really I’m just waiting for her to decide what she wants!
She is the least girly person, but she’s also a pretty princess. I cannot possibly imagine her in a wedding dress, but when she says she wants one my voice gets all high and squeaky and I want to make all her little dreams come true!
So I’m sure us figuring out our weddings plans is pretty good foreshadowing for what we can expect the rest of our lives, but I’m excited for it 🙂
Also I see my dr on Thursday to see what our next step is. If she’ll even keep me on as a patient. My love has also been talking about trying (but not for months. I don’t want to wait!) And it would be greeeeeeaaaat if we could come up with a known donor, expense wise, but no luck. So we’ll see what Thursday brings.