a journey to familyhood

Archive for January, 2016


I start taking Letrozole tomorrow. This will be a practice month to see if I ovulate on it and when in my cycle it might happen.
Then I get to double my progesterone. Not excited about that.
If the Letrozole doesn’t work then it’s a referral for injectables. So, I really hope it works!
The dr also told me about some place in Illinois to check out. Apparently the services there are much better then here. How ridiculous is it to go to another state to get affordable services?!
I’ll just hope it doesn’t come to that! Or that when my love gets her new insurance it comes with some bangin’ insurance!
Now I’m off to get a daith piercing.


Monday Musings

.I’m so tired. Tired to the point that all I want to do is cry. But I’m too tired to cry. Pretty sure it’s mono. I’m a lucky lucky carrier that gets mono whenever my body feels like it. I’ve heard rumors that some people will get mono once and then never again. Ha. Asshole body. But that explains the week long migraine. I spent 80% of the weekend asleep. Oh, we’re mid conversation? Nope, I’m sleeping.

.It is incredibly hard to type bc my arms are tired from holding my phone 😥

.Pretty sure we’re buying a car this week. I’m alternately super excited and totally scared. I have my price point, I have no problem waking away. They’ve tried pulling a few tactics the ole “Oh someone is really interested are you sure you don’t want to come right away?” But I think my general not giving a fuck and being to tired to give a fuck is helping. Bc of course there’s a follow up of “Oh, those people aren’t interested now” mmmmhhhmmmm.

.I’m tired of being asked if I need to check with my husband. Eat a dick.

.My love is getting everything set up for training. If we have a 2nd car I’m not worried at all. I like to worry and be anxious over worst case scenarios. So I’ll be able to rest easy knowing that if I’m murdered she’ll still have her own transportation home.

.Within hours of getting the job offer my mom had told everyone! I’m so proud of her!! And it’s cute that my mom is proud too 🙂

.I keep feeling like there’s something I need to be horribly anxious about. I guess I kept waking up last night and saying “I’m so anxious!” And hyperventilating and going back to sleep. I remember feeling anxious as I went to bed, but not waking up.

.My mom has an M.S. appointment on Weds, hopefully things aren’t worse. They’ll never get better, but at least it could go slowly.

.Omg I can’t believe I made it to the end of this never ending day!! I think it helps that work has been one cluster-f*ck after the next. Not much time to slow down. Mostly I’m just annoyed (LIVID) that there can be so little communication between various agencies. So when you tell me you’re sending a clients psych history, then do it, so I’m not stuck on the phone for an hour. Don’t send a non ambulatory client to a place with stairs. Don’t place an AODA client in an unsupervised setting. Don’t send homeless clients to short term facilities as a long term facility. Give people their medications. Don’t be an idiot!!

.Now that it’s all over I’m even more tired!


My lovely girl accepted a state d.o.c. job today!
Yaaaaay, a big girl job with big girl money! I’m so proud of her!!
So today we spent the day car shopping! I think we’re getting a Prius. And I’m pretty excited. I spent days reading online how to deal with car dealers. I think I did pretty well! On Saturday we’re going to the credit union to see about financing, to see where we can get the best rate.
I’m hoping we can get the one we want.
Mostly I hope we can get it before my love leaves for training. I don’t want to mess with buses and millage and blah blah blah.
My love gets a hotel (which we knew) and three paid meals a day (which we didn’t know). After her 2nd week of training she’ll find out which location she’ll get to work at. I believe after she starts the schedule is 6 on 3 off 3 on 6 off. I’ve never heard of such a schedule but it’s pretty cool.
And when we get our tax returns back we’re finally getting furniture.
It’s nice to see things going right! Hopefully this is the start of a lot of good things going right!
Also, I’m an idiot, I’ve only been taking half of my scheduled Metformin. Oops. I’ll start the full dose tomorrow.


We played hooky today and went to visit our little buddy. Omg, I need a baby or I might die.




She slept for like 3.5 of the 4 hours we were there and we just held her and snuggled her. It was so much better then working. She’s such a chill baby.

A few days ago I switched from regular metformin twice a day to extended release.
It is sooooo much better. I pretty much just accepted that Metformin was designed to make you feel horrible.
So I let it make me feel horrible for a year. I feel so much better!
Tonight I start the progesterone.I’ve been feeling pretty horrible to begin with. I’m anxious and depressed, I can’t sleep and when I do sleep my dreamsmake me wish I didn’t. So I’m really not excited for 10 days of feeling mentally like shit.
We haven’t gone to the gym in a few days. Usually when we gym I feel better, so maybe tomorrow morning we can go. Then it’s only a little over a week until I see the dr.


Today I got to listen to a grown ass man, educated, intelligent (or so I thought) talk about how he can’t understand how anyone older than a child can be raped.
“Why wouldn’t they just fight?”
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.
He doesn’t know my life. He doesn’t need to. He should not be the most ignorant person in the world.
I would like to “just fight” his face with my fists.

I know this isn’t ttc related, I’ve just been struggling with this a lot lately and just had no where else to say it.

Fresh baby!!!

Look at this face!


Sure, sure, she looks like any other baby, but I just want to smoosh her little face! This is my new favorite friend, Lily Jane (I call her LJ) and she’s 14 hours old. She’s our former roommate’s. But only because they put that stupid bracelet on her so we couldn’t steal her.
O.m.g. if you could just smell her fresh little face smell!!
Apparently child birth is the worst thing in the world and she hated it, but she did it.
She was two weeks early so we didn’t get to do prebirth hanging out and organizing of baby stuff, which would have been fun, but she’s happy that she got a second packnplay to leave at our house. So I guess she’s going to visit often! Yaaaaay baby time.
I’m psyched, but it’s a little terrible that she’s the second close friend to have a baby in like the last 6 months. I’m pretty sure my love cried on our drive home.
She got a job offer today, pending passing the physical, as a state correctional officer. We’ve been busting ass at the gym, I’m sure she’ll rock it. The list of stuff she has to do isn’t that overwhelming.
To go to school for Pharmacy she’d have to wait a semester, so she couldn’t start until next year. She wants to try  something with her Criminal Justice degree before going back to school. At first she was just doing it for a job, but now that she’s so close to it she’s excited about it.
The lame thing is that she’ll be gone training for 7 weeks! Seven weeks!! But she will be home on the weekends at least. The bad part is that we one have one car. So I think I’ll drive her an hour away to the MegaBus and she’ll bus to the city, but it’s only like $5! Yay MegaBus. Then she’ll take the city bus while she’s there for the week. I’ll keep the car so I can go to work where there is no public transportation. Now, let’s be honest, I literally live a ten minute walk from my job. Let’s be more honest, I walk slowly and it’s entirely uphill-20 minutes. But, if I want to grocery shop or see my family or ever leave my house, I need a car. And seriously, February in Wisconsin, I’ll freeze to death before I got anywhere if I’m walking.
It’ll be super sad to sleep alone and do my own laundry aaaand, well, mostly the laundry. But I’ll be so happy every weekend!!
Currently she manages a gas station. For the 7 weeks that she’s gone, I’ll be taking her job. I don’t currently work there, nor have I ever worked at a gas station, but someone has to do it and her boss doesn’t want to. So she’s going to train me and pay me my gf’s rate to help her out. If I’m here alone I’ll go out of my mind, I might as well be busy and have extra money!
My next dr appointment for letrozole is the end of the month. I plan to do a month of monitoring to see if I ovulate. If I do, then I cross my fingers that my next cycle will fall when my love is home. How sad would that be! I don’t want to insem by myself!
Anyway, I’m rambling now. Recap: A. yay baby LJ. B. Yay princess gf and her job offer. C. Yay dr appointment, hopefully it goes well and letrozole helps me ovulate.


That is all