a journey to familyhood

Archive for January, 2015

Week one weight loss

4.8 pounds down. Yay. Except now I’m actually going to have to keep trying to actually keep it up, not just be too sick to do anytHing.
Also my friend just come over. From Urgent Care. After she turned on a blender with her hand IN IT. And I’m starting to reevaluate the intelligence level of my friends.

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Cd49/Cd1!

.I’m pretty excited for CD1. Every day for almost the last two weeks I’ve known my period was coming any minute. So I’m glad it finally showed up. And I’m relieved to know I’ll be medically having thirty day cycles! I’m glad this wasn’t a tww, bc at 49 days I probably would have lost my mind by now.
.I called to set up blood work for Thursday. 730 am. Ew. And I emailed to see who to call to set up ultrasound and hsg. But I’m pretty sure my Dr is off on Wednesdays, the same day I’m off. So I’ll probably need to take time off again. Oh well.
.Tomorrow I go to see if I’ve lost any weight. I’m getting over the plague, so that’s been helpful. Not being able to swallow makes it easier to not eat too much! But on the other hand, I haven’t had the energy to go to the gym. My love asked the other day if I wanted to go and I burst into tears. That meant no. Then I started feeling better so I asked her to go and she told me to fuck off. That also meant no! I could go by myself, I know. But I haven’t. I have done some light stuff at home.
.I feel bad that I got my poor girl sick, but usually she’s only half as bad and better in half the time. (And a big baby) (sorry, love)
.Even being sick and constantly exhausted I can’t sleep. I take Benadryl which sometimes works. But I’ve also been taking it during the day for anxiety so I’m sure it’ll stop working all together!
.Hopefully all labs and ultrasounds and such go well and it’s a good cycle!

01/19/15

Yaaaaaaayyyyy
My appointment went so well today!
My dr was aaaaaaamazing. She listened and talked to both of us and was so sweet and great.
She wanted a few months of seeing what my cycle looked like, length, temps, etc and I said Heeeeey, lookie here it’s everyone’s pal Fertility Friend and she said yay. So she was excited that we were on the ball.
She figures I have pcos. She also told me that they never did all of the lab work at the other lab. So she scheduled blood work, ultrasounds, the infamous “dildo cam”. She wants me to take progesterone, but said it was a different brand so it’s less harsh.
So she wants probably two months of all that and if everything is how it should be she’ll do our iui.
Idk if that sounds like a lot or not, but it’s a lot for me. She was just so nice!!! And it was crazy to have such a great experience and know it was a great experience instead of the way I’ve felt before. It was just so nice!
I’m still waiting for my period (cd…44?) So as soon as I get it I can schedule everything for cd3. Every day I know it will be the day! And yet. I’m not crazy anymore though. Well, that’s not true lol, but I haven’t been crying for no reason or screaming at people. The grrrrreeeeeat part I’d that my gf has also been pmsing. I lied it’s not great it’s awful terrible the worst thing in the entire world.
She was so happy and smiling through the whole appointment. She’s so pretty. I’m so glad everything went well and hopefully my body cooperates to get us back on track.
Oooooh I just cannot express how great this feels. I’ve never felt such a connection with a Doctor before or felt so positive about an experience.

01/18/15

This morning I was told I look like Popeye when I take my temp in the morning. Except Popeye apparently talks like a 30’s mobster “yeah, see, I gots a cigar see” okay, Bugsy.
Then we watched the Friends episode where Phoebe has the triplets and we both might have cried bc everyone eat gets babies except us.
Appointment tomorrow, I’m not looking forward to it.
I should be getting my period any minute or day now.

Jinx!

I haaaaaad to open my mouth about sleeping at night didn’t I!

01/09/15

.Fertility Friend was nice enough to give me my crosshairs. I say this skeptically, as i t often then takes then away! But we’ll see.

.I still have over a week to my next appointment. It feels like forever

.My brother went to his bffs funeral yesterday, my heart is still so sad for him.

.Metformin and I are getting along much better than at first. And I think I’ve taken every dose! I’m horribly forgetful. Horribly. But I’ve been doing well!

.We’ve been going to the gym, not as often as either of us would like, but overall I think we’re doing well. And we’re getting up early tomorrow to go again!

.There are few things worse than working out and getting all sweaty and then going outside when it feels like -20!

.My heater/defroster stopped working today, for no reason! So I went to work in full blown anxiety mode dreading what would happen. It’s freaking cold, we need it. So my love takes it in, it works again and they couldn’t find any problems. So I hope it stays that way! Otherwise, it pays to be friends with the mechanic.

.Wednesday I had a horrible migraine. I spent the day on the couch watching SVU. I was hoping it would mean my period was coming. It still might. I just hope that my cycle is much shorter this time!

.With the help of (a LOT of) Benadryl I’ve been actually sleeping decent lately!

.Trivia Crack? Anyone? Omg my love is OBSESSED with the game. We usually have like 6 games going at a time. Usually we play sitting right next to each other. And she Really likes to beat me! We’re pretty evenly matched, but every time she wins, lol, she’s hella cocky!

Not at all ttc related

My brother’s best friend M was killed in a car accident today. My heart is so so so sad for him. In a matter of a few years we lost our father, our aunt, our cousin, all unexpectedly, all heartbreakingly. And J was the one least equipped to deal. And he is so devastated. His friend was home on a short military leave, supposed to leave next week. Thankfully, they had spent literally the entire day together yesterday. So I’m sure they had a great time and have a ton of memories. J, his girlfriend K and my other brothers gf H were all in the same graduating class. They were all super close, but especially J and K. Every other picture on fb was of them together, everything they did was together. They’re so devastated. The class was probably 40-50 kids and this is the 3rd kid to die in the past few months. They’re only 20 years old! That’s too young to be losing so many. I’m glad I was home to be with them, but it was so sad to see them all find out and all the emotions. And my mom couldn’t look at any of them without crying, either. Ugh, it just hurts me to think of how hurt they all are. My brother has not stopped crying. When I left I gave him another hug and he held on so tight. I feel like I’m just going through the motions of everything bc all I can think of is how painful it is for my brother and the girls. So unfair.