a journey to familyhood

Archive for August, 2014




Operation “Post 900 times a day”

I’m sorry! I’m an active processor! There’s no one around to talk it out with at the moment and if I don’t get it down, I’ll forget.

So. Conference. There is like a 1% chance we’re not even signed up and I can get out of it. Ooor as my co worker suggested today- we’re going up Weds to Friday. We can have our girlfriends join us at any point, depending on their work schedules. So i was like hey great idea! He wouldn’t need to know why I had her come up and if need be we could bring the baby juice.

So that’s one option.
And then…there’s the option where she still comes up and we just get totally wasted. This is exactly the point of this conference, no joke, no one actually goes to the classes. I’ve been waiting to go to this conference, with this co worker, for years. And in planning to go I never considered how it might affect my ttc plans.

Last winter when we started this journey my love had the same mindset, before we start let’s go out and get drunk! We don’t drink often, one of us or the other will get actually drunk maybe twice a year? But she’s all about this “last hoorah”. And it could be fun to go have one last carefree get away. And then co worker won’t need to know why I’m not partying with him. He’ll respect whatever choices I make, but I was a little bummed that I finally get to go and will be totally preoccupied. I told her we can go out whenever she wants (likely never, we’re not people people).

I would like to go to the conference, have her join me if she can, and go forward with our iui whenever we need to. We’ll see.

My love is working this weekend, 14 hour days, then she’ll probably be crabby and go to bed. So we probably won’t talk about it this weekend. But we have time. And as long as she can get off of work, I think we’ll be okay to do whatever we want.


How many times I the last 6 years have I had to go hours away from home for days to train for work? Twice!! When is the next time I’m going hours from home for a conference? Exactly when my next projected insemination window is! Oh nooooo. I was pretty irked when I realized that, but then I figured it’s a long way off maybe something will shift it back or forwards a few days. Or maybe it’ll just be good to have another month of tests and opks. I’ll deal with it when it gets there and if we have to wait then we wait.
On the mich brighter side my friend messaged me this am and she’s coming home from the Army soon!!! Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Ovulation Confirmed

Yay. I’m pleased with the Clomid, blood results, fertility friend results. I would be okay with trying next cycle.
Idk what my gf wants, she might want to do opks all next month and wait another month. I guess we’ll have to have a conversation about that.
She did however text me that she has taken my credit card to the store to buy opks. Love! Amazon! Oh boy.


Well fertility friend just gave me my first non-forced crosshairs in months! Cd18, 2 days after I gave up on testing. And I will admit things were a little…slip and slidey at that point. What I imagine must be delightful c.m. Damnit! I mean I’m happy to see that, but two days after I stop testing?! I guess I’m going on Amazon to buy a big giant jumbo pack of opk’s!

The BloodDraw Massacre *triggering picture warning*

Every time I get the new person! So there’s a whole group of people learning and teaching and asking questions. And maybe they should have practiced in the classroom a little more first!
Every time I get something done I use my non dominant arm (or other appropriate appendage) idk if I was told to do that or it just makes sense to me, I just figure if they’re gonna fuck something up at least I could still function.
So the child in the scrubs takes my right arm and puts on the worst turniquit I’ve seen in my life. And then just stands there. I felt a little bad, poor girl just froze. But seriously. All you have to do is stab me and take the blood.
So her teacher steps in and wakes her back up aaaand the girl can’t find a vein. Of course the teacher says uh there’s one right here dummy but you can try the other one if you want.
There’s another I didn’t want to give them my other arm. Mostly it’s all the fucking judgement.




(I have surrounded the arm pic with kitten pics in hopes that it doesn’t show up in the preview. But seriously, I don’t want a crowd of people looking at my arm and giving me dirty looks)

But I did, she gave me an even worse tourniquit found a vein right away and then couldn’t get the needle in! Her teacher is giving her pointers and I think she’s finally good. And. Then. She. Twists. Why do they always twist?! They have never twisted in my right arm, but more than once, at more than one clinic they have missed and twisted in my left arm. Last time I looked like I had just spent the weekend shooting up with multiple needle pricks and horrible bruising. So after she finally gets enough blood she YANKS the needle out. The teacher nurse made a comment about Oh! That’s really bleeding! And the girls just kind of looks like oooh I didn’t realize that, my bad.
Yeah! Your bad! Go practice that on yourself for a fucking while so you know how much you SUCK! So I’m glad that’s fucking over. If my arm falls off I’m not going to be pleased. But since I have the fancy new clinic website I wonder if I’ll get my results sooner.

“Happy birthday thug”

Someone texted me that and idk who it was!
Today was a wonderful birthday. My peach got me sunglasses and a tea kettle and gum and a shoe rack, everything I asked for (except a breadmaker. She makes homemade bread but it always seems too dense and I can’t handle that mouth feel. Christmas idea!)
And flowers!
Then we went to the batting cages and out for pizza. I’ve never had deep dish so she took me out for it! It was a little less of a surprise when we were clearly driving to the only town in that direction but it was still nice!
Then she made me home made carrot cake cupcakes! And now we’re playing cribbage and watching Big Bang Theory. We bought Juno yesterday but I think I’d be too bitter over fake pregnant teenagers.
Also I didn’t have to work and that’s always great! So just ten hours of work and I have off again! Maybe I should have a job that doesn’t make me crazy.
Oh it was my brother who sent me that text! Fitting. Thanks bro-han. Bro-suf. Bro-ranasorus Rex?
Sooo here’s some pictures of our day.