And by work I obviously mean I have done Nothing besides watch a “Hoarders” marathon.
And get paid to do so.
As lovely as that is, it is boring and makes me sore to do so little! So hopefully the neighbors haven’t been watching me stretch and jump around.
It’s nice to have a moderately stress free day though. My love will be losing her job probably next week. Nothing she can do about it, her house is closing and the people living there are moving to a different company. So things are a bit up in the air at the moment. She has three jobs, but this is her full time money making, insurance providing job! (And my part time job). So she’s looking for a new path. I know the uncertainty of things causes a great deal of anxiety, but I’m very confident in her to find the next thing. I don’t want her to settle. I’m not worried about the money, I’m worried about making sure she has insurance whenever she gets pregnant.
So until then! She can be in charge of cat boxes, painting the bathroom and hallway (after almost two years!) and finishing the bed frame she’s been working on forever! I HATE not having a bed frame it’s making me crazy. This girl, omg. I love her, it’s adorable when she has a “project”, I KNOW she’ll have a job before any of them are complete lol. Sweetness if you’re reading this I’m sorry, lol, you know it’s true and i looooovveeeeee yooouuu!!
Despite the work hiccup, we’re still planning to try again for a baby. And we’ve got a few weeks to see how job search is going and how her anxiety is. I will try to remember to by more opks!
I’m super annoyed at my body and my chart this month. I’m hoping that I get my period in like a week (?) and am able to have a better month in May. Hopefully I can start sleeping better and get better temp readings. I guess only time will tell, but I’m working hard to get my body on track and keep it on track! Hopefully it acknowledges and plays along!!
This weekend was sad. I knew it would be but I still wasn’t entirely prepared. So now we’re in the pre-two week wait two week wait! I’m excited about it. New job, new cycle, New mindset. It’s hard for me to be in this role. I don’t know how to explain it. Being the one to ….”push the plunger” and attempt to impregnate her was super super empowering! Like that’s a big power trip lol. But it’s still so surreal. And it makes me feel powerless to know that I can’t do everything.
I can’t stop her job from ending or get her another one. I couldn’t get her pregnant. Eventually I won’t be able to keep trying. I don’t know how to keep my own body on track let alone another person’s body!!
Some people believe in a higher power, I personally don’t. I don’t believe in the universe rewarding good people or punishing the bad. I do know that it’s incredibly hard to set aside or work through the negative thoughts and adopt a more positive attitude/outlook. But a lot of things are incredibly hard. A sad weekend or a bum cycle won’t stop me from being excited to try again!